How I’m Preparing Time for Myself
revisiting how to not always be working
For the last few summers, I’ve spent a week dog-sitting for my friend who lives a couple hours away. In addition to playing with and walking the pup, I try to block off my calendar so I can spend some time resting, thinking, and writing. I know that having a week to spend as I choose is a wonderful opportunity for these practices, but I also know that I can backslide into overwork when no one is there to catch me doing it (you can read more about this in my newsletter on sneaky productivity).
To prepare for this year’s time away, I returned to
’s How to Not Always Be Working: a toolkit for creativity and radical self care. When I first read it in 2018, HTNABW provided me with a helpful framework for setting boundaries around my work at home, so I thought it would be a good resource to help me plan for my dog-sitting trip/writing retreat/vacation.Cook-Parrott’s book guides the reader through a process of identifying what is their work, what is not their work, and how to handle the gray areas between the two. When I answered these questions years ago, I was working on my PhD, learning how to navigate back pain and fatigue, and daydreaming about starting a business. As I noted in my blog post “Work is Work Even If You Love It,” I fell into listening to business audiobooks at night, something I determined was work and, as a result, decided I didn’t want to do after hours. This concept of what is and is not work is helpful for me now as I prepare for my trip. I know I want to do some writing and research during my time away, but I want to be strategic about when and how and where to do it.
It’s important for me to regularly check in about overwork. I like to check off boxes on my to-do list and I like the tasks that I get to do for my work as a coach, consultant, and writer. But my proclivity to overwork is more complicated than liking or not liking what I do. Growing up, I approached work as a non-negotiable—better yet if I could thrive at multiple things at once, putting in as many hours as it took to show that I was a hard worker and deserving of praise. On reflection, I was super into optimization, not just of my scholarship and my jobs, but also my workouts, planning, chores, etc. When I developed chronic health issues in January of 2017, I was forced to reckon with the ways I’d normalized overworking my mind and body chasing the reward for being the best and doing the most. (You can read more about my journey here.)
Having a week away from meetings and calls runs the risk of becoming a smorgasbord of projects I could chip away at or work ahead on, so I’m trying to bring more intention to my rest and downtime practices. Through answering Cook-Parrott’s questions in HTNABW, here’s what I determined felt accessible and helpful for me for my week of free time:
Take breaks and have a menu of activities to do during your break.
Here are some of the things I wrote on my menu of break activities to help me choose an action that feels doable. I’ll then put this list somewhere I can see it.
Play fetch with the dog in the backyard
Make a cup of tea and drink it outside in the sun
Do 10 minutes of relaxed mobility stretches
Fill up my water bottle and have a drink
Take a nap
Lay on the couch and snuggle with the dog
Read my novel
Plan transitions out of work into rest.
I already know that doing live online yoga classes helps me to transition out of work mode and reminds me to hang up my phone for the night at home, so I signed up for some extra yoga classes. I’m also planning to chat on the phone with Kris at the end of their workday to catch up and share how our days went, which will be a nice way to have accountability for shifting away from work.
Make it easy to choose an activity that isn’t tied to work.
I want to have non-work activities on hand that I can reach for if I so choose. Some activities that I know I enjoy are knitting, embroidery, reading for fun, and collaging, so I borrowed some books and audiobooks from the library and am going to treat myself to some new magazines for collaging.
I’m curious how you navigate downtime—what strategies and activities do you leverage to help you get out (and stay out!) of work mode? I invite you to share in the comments!
Take care and talk soon,
Dr. Kate